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Touch me. Touch me like you didn't touch me last night. - SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO: Habushu and...maybe something else? Something awesome?

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January 6th, 2009
12:11 pm

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SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO: Habushu and...maybe something else? Something awesome?

Oh dear, my children? Can it be that we've done something stupid...again?

Yes, for...WE'VE DONE SOMETHING SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO!!!

Let's see what the beverage portion is, shall we?

This is habushu, which will be explained in the video.

 

As for the main food...well, [info]blackcat2086  brought it to me frozen, for which I will always love her. Oh, and she brought it in person and is super cool and cute and I'll post a photo of her soon maybe unless I forget which I will. Anyway, I love meeting the internet.

Crap, YouTube is currently showing a freeze frame from the middle of the main video, which gives away what the item is.

With luck, that'll get updated soon.

The following episode is, as always, filmed by Lovely Wife Sara and guest stars [info]city_of_dis , with [info]icayrus and [info]porpentine_4 intentionally hiding from view.

BRACE YOURSELVES FOR...UMM...


So, yep, we just conquered one of the Bar Standards for shitty food.

Here are some photos, after some scrolling fodder so it won't ruin the surprise if the YouTube preview image corrects itself.

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Seriously, a plastic bag not only didn't contain the smell, but it couldn't even contain the pointy fruit itself:



Yep, them's the insides right there. I left it outside of the garbage can, even, for fear of making IT smell bad.



Whatever shall we do next?

Well, we still have Surging Eel...

And we still have two new "Have To" ideas brewing.

Oh, and, like my grandfather, my regular features are slowly returning to being regular.

2009 will, indeed, be my bitch.

Oh, before you go, have a RIVETING my wife is a lush outtake video.

HILARIOUS TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES OR SOMETHING!


Now go home. Go home to your bloody gophers.

Love,

benjamin
Your Internet Monkey King

Current Music: BBC World Service Streaming Online
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Comments
 
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[User Picture]
From:[info]neogrammarian
Date:January 6th, 2009 06:58 pm (UTC)
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iirc one of the traditional bits of wisdom about that particular fruit is: "smells like him, tastes like her."

Do w/that info what you will.
[User Picture]
From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 6th, 2009 07:10 pm (UTC)
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Maybe if both of them were in the advanced stages of Steaming Genital Rot...
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From:[info]xbad_candy
Date:January 6th, 2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
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Thank god you did that for me.

Cause seriously, uuuuuugggghhhhhh. I've never been near one and I'm scared.

Have you ever been near a rotting flesh plant?
[User Picture]
From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 6th, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC)
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No, but I totally want to!

I feel that I'm psychologically prepared now.
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From:[info]onehotbeeyatch
Date:January 6th, 2009 07:03 pm (UTC)
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Where did you guys get the fruit??
[User Picture]
From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 6th, 2009 07:10 pm (UTC)
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Edited the entry to answer that, since I was a dumbhead and didn't originally have it mentioned.
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From:[info]evil_egg
Date:January 6th, 2009 07:06 pm (UTC)
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That's not food. That's one of Satan's turds.
[User Picture]
From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 6th, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC)
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That would explain the spikes...
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From:[info]eyeslikesugar
Date:January 6th, 2009 07:24 pm (UTC)
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You two are foul.. beyond belief.. I actually didn't watch the whole thing for fear of the predicted projectile puke.. I hate puke. But I <3 you for doing this!
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From:[info]lady_noremon
Date:January 6th, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC)
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Have no fear of finishing it though :)
[User Picture]
From:[info]rick_day
Date:January 6th, 2009 07:40 pm (UTC)
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I had no idea you are into culinary BDSM.

D:
[User Picture]
From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 7th, 2009 02:16 am (UTC)
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I'm into a lot of things, big boy...
[User Picture]
From:[info]short_mort
Date:January 6th, 2009 07:40 pm (UTC)
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It looked like you were carving up a hedgehog!
[User Picture]
From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 7th, 2009 02:39 am (UTC)
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Yeah, our special effect for the night was to replace a durian with a hedgehog with nobody noticing.

Obviously we bled the hedgehog first. We're not completely without scruples, or a sense of continuity and aesthetics.
[User Picture]
From:[info]wolfsilveroak
Date:January 6th, 2009 08:02 pm (UTC)
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Oh yay, the vids show over here.
[User Picture]
From:[info]blondebeaker
Date:January 6th, 2009 08:07 pm (UTC)
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OH DEAR GOD. I had one of those fuckers EXPLODE on me, because the damn thing was rotten, when I was working as a cashier in a grocery store. I wasn't allowed in the freaking house I smelled so bad.

Bonus was I got to go home early but damn, I smelled like I was rolling around in skunk innards.

But you brave, brave men I SALUTE YOU! *cue patriotic music and salutes*
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From:[info]wu_chan
Date:January 7th, 2009 12:11 am (UTC)
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D: D: D:

I'm going to have nightmares about that. But, how did you know it was rotten?
[User Picture]
From:[info]lizzibabe
Date:January 6th, 2009 08:19 pm (UTC)
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OMG ben, sara, I <3 you guys. You own the intarwebz!
[User Picture]
From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 7th, 2009 03:09 am (UTC)
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Hey, don't forget M-A!
[User Picture]
From:[info]andyluke
Date:January 6th, 2009 08:27 pm (UTC)
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So thats what a pokemon looks like when ya slice it. However did yis catch th'wee bastich?
[User Picture]
From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 7th, 2009 03:10 am (UTC)
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GUILE and TRICKERY and BREAD PUDDING!
[User Picture]
From:[info]misslizh
Date:January 6th, 2009 08:44 pm (UTC)
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You guys are brave!
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From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 7th, 2009 03:11 am (UTC)
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Or dumb. Or both.
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From:[info]carrot_khan
Date:January 6th, 2009 08:59 pm (UTC)
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I will give you a dollar if you never use that icon again.
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From:[info]nhyrvana
Date:January 6th, 2009 10:29 pm (UTC)
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I'll give you $5.00

-e
[User Picture]
From:[info]ar901
Date:January 6th, 2009 09:15 pm (UTC)
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Excellent.


I am pleased.
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From:[info]tanukitsune
Date:January 6th, 2009 09:23 pm (UTC)
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One of these days you should combine some of the worst things you've tasted into a recipe of DOOM!
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From:[info]kimberkid
Date:January 6th, 2009 09:41 pm (UTC)
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To me, durian tastes kind of like if you were eating a mix of 4 different tropical fruits while sitting in a port-a-potty at Folsom Street Fair.


If you can somehow get past the smell, it doesn't taste all that bad. But getting past the smell is a Herculean task.....
[User Picture]
From:[info]vitriolicsmile
Date:January 6th, 2009 10:14 pm (UTC)
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Where in the world can you get a frozen one of these around the Midwest?
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From:[info]blackcat2086
Date:January 6th, 2009 10:17 pm (UTC)
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Apparently there's some tiny hole-in-the-wall Asian grocery store in Champaign that carries them, but I found this one in Chicago where I live (New China Town).
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From:[info]blackcat2086
Date:January 6th, 2009 10:16 pm (UTC)
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
The first two things I've given you turned out tasty, SO THIS WAS MY REVENGE! COWER IN THE FACE OF MY SMELLY FRUIT FROM HELL!!
Actually, I still kinda feel bad for giving you a smelling fruit in exchange for that awesome book, lol. Only a little though, since this was totally worth the cost of that fruit. And man, that thing is INCREDIBLY spiny and sharp! It sucked carrying that thing around the store.
Aww, you thought I was cool and cute. That's ok, hang out with me and you'll learn I'm actually the opposite. ;D And..Yay! You left some for me! Too bad I don't want it now that's it's probably rotten. ;P
[User Picture]
From:[info]blackcat2086
Date:January 7th, 2009 01:11 am (UTC)
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OH! And I'd just like to mention that as I was watching this, my dog sitting next to me farted. For a second I thought you somehow had achieved Smell-O-Vision.
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From:[info]nhyrvana
Date:January 6th, 2009 10:30 pm (UTC)
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Sarah, "I think you need to lick your fingers Ben"

SHE'S BEING EVIL. Love it. =)

-em
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From:[info]nhyrvana
Date:January 7th, 2009 05:24 am (UTC)
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Also, just watched Johnny To's tribute to Akira Kirwasawa, "Throwdown".

MY GODS IT'S FULL OF STARS! =)

-em
[User Picture]
From:[info]primavera
Date:January 6th, 2009 10:32 pm (UTC)
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Why are my gophers bloody?

Also, yech.
[User Picture]
From:[info]karmabreeze
Date:January 6th, 2009 11:25 pm (UTC)
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Sweet baby Jesus, I miss you guys!
[User Picture]
From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 7th, 2009 03:22 am (UTC)
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We miss you so bad. We really want you to visit us.
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From:[info]pure_doxyk
Date:January 7th, 2009 12:56 am (UTC)
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OMFBrilliant. Mark Anthony is a riotously strong-stomached addition; and the durian itself is now my role-model for the next time I have to write about the Eggs of Satan, or Methusalian Dragon Shit, or some such. Wonderful.
[User Picture]
From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 7th, 2009 03:23 am (UTC)
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When you come visit we're totally chilling with him and [info]icayrus and [info]porpentine_4, aka The Other Two Boys.

They're my favorite polygamist gay trio.
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From:[info]nykki
Date:January 7th, 2009 01:07 am (UTC)
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First, Sara is still defying the laws of reality with her cuteness, and MarcAnthony is still my future gay husband.

That being said... I wanted vomit! You disappointed sTone. Although, I will say, I feel the need to find worse, so I can make your 2009 actually go down. I'll have to talk to people...
[User Picture]
From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 7th, 2009 03:27 am (UTC)
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Hey, you telling me you're going to make my 2009 worse?

Cause I will cut you.
[User Picture]
From:[info]fabricari
Date:January 7th, 2009 01:48 am (UTC)
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After a month in Malaysia I finally brought myself to taste durian. The first time i smelled it, though, I threw up some.
[User Picture]
From:[info]fabricari
Date:January 7th, 2009 01:50 am (UTC)
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Oh and the funniest bit is that hotels in Malaysia and Singapore post signs that say "No Durian". It's illegal in Singapore, apparently - hurts turism or some such.
[User Picture]
From:[info]pixink
Date:January 7th, 2009 02:08 am (UTC)
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Yay! I was wondering when you'd finally eat a durian!
As always, shared with mum...
[User Picture]
From:[info]benchilada
Date:January 7th, 2009 02:53 am (UTC)
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HOORAY! How does she feel about all of our swearing?
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