Touch me. Touch me like you didn't touch me last night. - SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO: Habushu and...maybe something else? Something awesome?
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12:11 pm
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SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO: Habushu and...maybe something else? Something awesome?
Oh dear, my children? Can it be that we've done something stupid...again?
Yes, for...WE'VE DONE SOMETHING SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO!!!
Let's see what the beverage portion is, shall we?
This is habushu, which will be explained in the video.

As for the main food...well, blackcat2086 brought it to me frozen, for which I will always love her. Oh, and she brought it in person and is super cool and cute and I'll post a photo of her soon maybe unless I forget which I will. Anyway, I love meeting the internet.
Crap, YouTube is currently showing a freeze frame from the middle of the main video, which gives away what the item is.
With luck, that'll get updated soon.
The following episode is, as always, filmed by Lovely Wife Sara and guest stars city_of_dis , with icayrus and porpentine_4 intentionally hiding from view.
BRACE YOURSELVES FOR...UMM...
So, yep, we just conquered one of the Bar Standards for shitty food.
Here are some photos, after some scrolling fodder so it won't ruin the surprise if the YouTube preview image corrects itself.
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Seriously, a plastic bag not only didn't contain the smell, but it couldn't even contain the pointy fruit itself:

Yep, them's the insides right there. I left it outside of the garbage can, even, for fear of making IT smell bad.

Whatever shall we do next?
Well, we still have Surging Eel...
And we still have two new "Have To" ideas brewing.
Oh, and, like my grandfather, my regular features are slowly returning to being regular.
2009 will, indeed, be my bitch.
Oh, before you go, have a RIVETING my wife is a lush outtake video.
HILARIOUS TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES OR SOMETHING!
Now go home. Go home to your bloody gophers.
Love,
benjamin Your Internet Monkey King
Current Music: BBC World Service Streaming Online Tags: food, so you don't have to
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iirc one of the traditional bits of wisdom about that particular fruit is: "smells like him, tastes like her."
Do w/that info what you will.
Maybe if both of them were in the advanced stages of Steaming Genital Rot...
Thank god you did that for me.
Cause seriously, uuuuuugggghhhhhh. I've never been near one and I'm scared.
Have you ever been near a rotting flesh plant?
No, but I totally want to!
I feel that I'm psychologically prepared now.
Where did you guys get the fruit??
Edited the entry to answer that, since I was a dumbhead and didn't originally have it mentioned.
That's not food. That's one of Satan's turds.
That would explain the spikes...
You two are foul.. beyond belief.. I actually didn't watch the whole thing for fear of the predicted projectile puke.. I hate puke. But I <3 you for doing this!
Have no fear of finishing it though :)
I had no idea you are into culinary BDSM.
D:
I'm into a lot of things, big boy...
It looked like you were carving up a hedgehog!
Yeah, our special effect for the night was to replace a durian with a hedgehog with nobody noticing.
Obviously we bled the hedgehog first. We're not completely without scruples, or a sense of continuity and aesthetics.
Oh yay, the vids show over here.
OH DEAR GOD. I had one of those fuckers EXPLODE on me, because the damn thing was rotten, when I was working as a cashier in a grocery store. I wasn't allowed in the freaking house I smelled so bad.
Bonus was I got to go home early but damn, I smelled like I was rolling around in skunk innards.
But you brave, brave men I SALUTE YOU! *cue patriotic music and salutes*
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/33523251/634537) | | From: | wu_chan |
| Date: | January 7th, 2009 12:11 am (UTC) |
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D: D: D:
I'm going to have nightmares about that. But, how did you know it was rotten?
OMG ben, sara, I <3 you guys. You own the intarwebz!
So thats what a pokemon looks like when ya slice it. However did yis catch th'wee bastich?
GUILE and TRICKERY and BREAD PUDDING!
I will give you a dollar if you never use that icon again.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/81966844/13356877) | | From: | ar901 |
| Date: | January 6th, 2009 09:15 pm (UTC) |
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Excellent.
I am pleased.
One of these days you should combine some of the worst things you've tasted into a recipe of DOOM!
To me, durian tastes kind of like if you were eating a mix of 4 different tropical fruits while sitting in a port-a-potty at Folsom Street Fair.
If you can somehow get past the smell, it doesn't taste all that bad. But getting past the smell is a Herculean task.....
Where in the world can you get a frozen one of these around the Midwest?
Apparently there's some tiny hole-in-the-wall Asian grocery store in Champaign that carries them, but I found this one in Chicago where I live (New China Town).
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The first two things I've given you turned out tasty, SO THIS WAS MY REVENGE! COWER IN THE FACE OF MY SMELLY FRUIT FROM HELL!! Actually, I still kinda feel bad for giving you a smelling fruit in exchange for that awesome book, lol. Only a little though, since this was totally worth the cost of that fruit. And man, that thing is INCREDIBLY spiny and sharp! It sucked carrying that thing around the store. Aww, you thought I was cool and cute. That's ok, hang out with me and you'll learn I'm actually the opposite. ;D And..Yay! You left some for me! Too bad I don't want it now that's it's probably rotten. ;P
OH! And I'd just like to mention that as I was watching this, my dog sitting next to me farted. For a second I thought you somehow had achieved Smell-O-Vision.
Sarah, "I think you need to lick your fingers Ben"
SHE'S BEING EVIL. Love it. =)
-em
Also, just watched Johnny To's tribute to Akira Kirwasawa, "Throwdown".
MY GODS IT'S FULL OF STARS! =)
-em
Why are my gophers bloody?
Also, yech.
Sweet baby Jesus, I miss you guys!
We miss you so bad. We really want you to visit us.
OMFBrilliant. Mark Anthony is a riotously strong-stomached addition; and the durian itself is now my role-model for the next time I have to write about the Eggs of Satan, or Methusalian Dragon Shit, or some such. Wonderful.
When you come visit we're totally chilling with him and icayrus and porpentine_4, aka The Other Two Boys. They're my favorite polygamist gay trio.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/41542413/925054) | | From: | nykki |
| Date: | January 7th, 2009 01:07 am (UTC) |
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First, Sara is still defying the laws of reality with her cuteness, and MarcAnthony is still my future gay husband.
That being said... I wanted vomit! You disappointed sTone. Although, I will say, I feel the need to find worse, so I can make your 2009 actually go down. I'll have to talk to people...
Hey, you telling me you're going to make my 2009 worse?
Cause I will cut you.
After a month in Malaysia I finally brought myself to taste durian. The first time i smelled it, though, I threw up some.
Oh and the funniest bit is that hotels in Malaysia and Singapore post signs that say "No Durian". It's illegal in Singapore, apparently - hurts turism or some such.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/60353620/405428) | | From: | pixink |
| Date: | January 7th, 2009 02:08 am (UTC) |
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Yay! I was wondering when you'd finally eat a durian! As always, shared with mum...
HOORAY! How does she feel about all of our swearing? |
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