INTRO: What is this STRANGE NEW PLACE?! [sticky post]


Cute Boy
This is going to be a sticky post at the top of my LJ, giving people some content info.

Regular features that people seem to enjoy:

  Fuckbrain Comix shows you, with my special kind of "art," the inside of my brainmeats: Tourette's Syndrome, OCD, Bipolar Disorder, and maybe one or two others. Maybe you'll learn something.

  People are happy because I eat strange foods So You Don't Have To.

  Things I Can't /Draw is exactly what it says on the tin, from Inappropriate Comix to Hero / Villain-A-Day Every-Few-Months to the aformentioned Fuckbrain Comix.

  The Continuing Adventures of Sir Reginald are here, from my original stories to loads of art and comic adaptations by awesome people.

  The Truth will emerge, about your sexuality, drugs, kinks and fetishes, crushes, the parallel universe you, and that memory you'll never lose. Anonymous commenting with no IP logging is enabled for these entries.

  Toys in the Bookstacks is me having fauxmetti fun with my 3.4 billion toys and the library where I work.

  Five Questions are what I want from you. Maybe I'll even answer them someday.

  Audience partipation is strongly encouraged.

  Photos Of My Life may also be requested.

I think other stuff happens, too.

Photos pre-April 2008 might be broken due to a Flickr fuck-up. I'm slowly fixing it.

Facebook / Flickr / / YouTube / Delicious / Twitter / LibraryThing

Enjoy your stay and tell your fucking friends.


Your Internet Monkey King

PS -
What the hell just came out of my ass?

Funky formatting and Snapchatting

Why the deuce is the formatting on my LJ jacked-up if you look at just my feed?

Give it a look, tell me if it's doing it for you, and then somebody fucking help because I'm stuck.


I'm on Snapchat. I send one at LEAST once a day.

I adore the ephemeral nature of seing glimpses of my friends' lives and surroundings and faces.

So scan this, tell me who you are when you add me, and brace yourself for a complete lack of dick pics.

benjamin in the car

More drawings. And questions. And your mom. Maybe.

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.


Who out there actually knows what a reasonable commission cost would be? My art may not be fancy-as-fuck, but it’s still worth more than a plugged nickel. I have no idea why I said that.

Anyroad, it’s about time I start selling some, and working in larger formats. I figure somebody out there would “enjoy” having some of my “art.” Especially my larger art, although my small stuff I’d sell for a few bucks.

Any input–here, on FB, or via email–would be greatly appreciated.

Here, have some strange art, the eyestrich and…fuck if I know.

Eye Ostrich









Eye Tentacle Face Man in Puddle Water Drawing


BONUS: What happened when I put the eyestrich through’s auto-correction:

Eye Ostrich Auto Adjustment

benjamin in the car

Asking me to draw animals is dangerous

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

I was talking to Nadja about how hard it is to get back into a groove of doing art, and she told me to draw a peacock.

I asked if it should be me trying to draw from photo reference or my usual “what does a peacock look like in my head” method?

We decided that I should do the latter and then the former.

After I did the latter, we decided that perhaps the former was a bad idea.

Peacok Illustration

I’d explain why he has a mouth, but…non, je ne regrette rien.



benjamin in the car

My brother Matthew remembers things that I don’t.

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

Many years ago I wrote this story.
My brother Matthew reminded me that I wrote it and a few others.

I need to write more.

I’m not certain what to do with it. You see, in one of the boxes that my grandfather left behind was a strange gun, rounded and very rusty. It weighs several pounds and has knobs and dials along the side. If you put your ear against it, you can hear it quietly humming, and on its side is a dark and cracking piece of masking tape, upon which is written “Disintegrator Gun: still dangerous.”

My grandfather worked in a granary since the day he turned twelve and didn’t learn to read until his was forty-five. According to my mother, he’d never been able to change a lightbulb without blowing a fuse. He couldn’t have invented this, it’s too complex to be a toy, and it seems unlikely that a man who spent most of his life hip-deep in feed corn would have ever been in a situation to stumble upon something like this.

So where did it come from? I don’t know, but it’s sitting on my desk now. Every time I bring it close to my laptop, the LCD starts flowing and the fans start spinning faster. My cat’s hair stands on end when she gets too close. I set it next to a fountain pen which promptly started leaking ink out of its tip. If I hold it near my head, my fillings ache.

If I hold it in my hand, I feel like the most powerful man in the world.

It’s like a little boy’s dream come true, but I can’t bring myself to so much as touch the trigger. I thought of testing it in on a rock in the back yard, but what if it’s got a really wide beam, or punches a hole in the ground the size of an SUV? What if it explodes in my hand? What if it does nothing?

So for now it sits on my desk, all but begging me to pick it up.

“Be a superhero,” it whispers.

“Be a villain,” it suggests.

“Be whatever you want, so long as you use me to do it.”

I know that I’ll break down soon. I’ll use it on a tree or a wall, a car or a criminal, on a bank or on myself. But I’ll use it.

And I’ll never stop.


benjamin in the car

Sketchpad meanderings

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

Less than a month since last time! I’m doing better with my art.

I’m excited about a slow-build of new energy, but am still stuck on the format for two of my comics–one Fuckbrain Comix, one about something else–but it’s time for me to say screw it and just start.

In the mean time, please look at the sort of things I draw when I’m trying to “brainstorm” or “just draw shit.”

Anyways, here’s one, and four more behind the jump.



Read the rest of this entry »

benjamin in the car

Totally forgot I have a website – Have some art

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

It’s only been 8 months, so I guess it’s not that bad. 😐

Still going over on FB, and I’ve been stuck-as-fuck on my art, but how about this thing I made while in a bout of insomnia. I had some whiskey to keep me company.

These are all true…probably.

As always, click to embiggen for the I DRAW TOO SMALL bits.

Facts art - last page benchilada



benjamin in the car

Still busy; have some more dick joke art

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

Between protesting Governor Rauner’s “right to work” bullshit–he’s at the I-Hotel today, so a hoard of people are going over to shout at him–and protesting Tasers, and going to City Council meetings–congrats, Aaron!–and volunteering at the Champaign County Humane Society, and helping more at home as Nadja makes Carnivale Debauche costumes and…look, we been busy.

I have no larger project right now, so have some more dick jokes.

Cock RobinShuttlecock